5 posts tagged “weird”
Before coming to visit with us last week, one of the last things my daughter's husband said to her was, "Don't lock the keys in the car because you only have one key."
Yesterday at work, one of the guys locked himself out of his car and had to use a coat hanger to pull up the door lock.
After I got home from work, we took the whole family to my son's swimming practice and then out to eat. When practice was over, one of the parents realized she had locked her keys in the car and had to call her husband with the extra key.
My daughter didn't really give it a second thought until we arrived back home after dinner. Once there, she got a strange look on her face and ran to her car. Sure enough, all four doors were locked and there, sitting in plain view on the passenger seat, were the keys.
So, I ended up fishing a coat hanger through the window to pull up the door lock. It wasn't an easy task, but I finally managed to get it.
Moral of the story: Don't lock your keys in your car.
I mentioned yesterday that one of my coworkers was killed in a motorcycle accident over the weekend. After I got to work, I heard about some other things that made me stop and wonder what was going on.
Another guy who works in my plant was having marital problems. I guess he thought the best way to handle it was with a gun, so Saturday evening he shot up his house. Thankfully, no one was home and no one got hurt, but he ended up in jail with no possibility of bond and four felony counts against him.
In a different incident, a guy who works at one of the other plants was cleaning his gun at home on Saturday when it went off and killed one of his friends, who also happened to be a worker at the same plant. I haven't really heard all of the details about that, but I do know that yesterday afternoon he was being questioned by the police.
So, over the weekend, the company I work for lost two employees to death, one employee is in jail and another is possibly facing manslaughter charges. I kind of hate to go in this morning to see if it got worse.
I was given some false information about the camel spiders, or sun spiders, that were prevalent in the desert of Jordan when I was there on a temporary duty in 1996. I was told that the male spider would climb on camels, or soldiers, in the middle of the night and use an anesthetic like venom to deaden the skin and then make an incision. After that, the female would crawl up and lay eggs inside of the incision. The wound would heal and the baby spiders would grow under the skin until they were old enough to eat their way out.
ANALOGY OF A CAMEL SPIDER
The Middle Eastern desert regions of the world play host to a very interesting creature commonly referred to as the camel spider. Equipped with an ominous set of pinschers, a camouflage desert brown body, and sometimes growing up to 5 inches across, the camel spider is a frightening predator in the insect world. They commonly feed on grasshoppers and other small insects, but it is a peculiar reproductive practice that makes the camel spider unique. First, the male spider climbs onto an unsuspecting, slumbering victim such as a camel and uses anesthetic type venom to deaden a small portion of the animal’s skin. Then, he makes a small incision with his pinschers. The female then comes along and lays her eggs inside the incision. The cut soon heals over and the eggs are left under the skin to live off of the nutrients that are provided by the host animal’s body tissues. Once the eggs hatch, the baby camel spiders eat their way through the flesh and make their arrival into the world.
So it is with Satan in our lives. He is an ominous sort of creature that any normal person would steer clear of. But rather than walk right up and introduce himself, he likes to sneak around and wait until we’re sleeping. He waits until we are at a weak moment in our lives and then strikes. Perhaps a loved one has just died, or maybe a marriage or long time courtship is on the rocks. He creeps in with his crafty words and worldly lies and tries to anesthetize the hurt before God can use it to help us grow. Then he plants eggs of doubt, hate, or unbelief and they remain there, hidden under the skin, constantly being fed by the entourage of hateful, hurtful thoughts that he so willingly provides. Finally, after weeks, months, and sometimes years of gestation the ugliness that is on the inside eats its way out and we find ourselves in a swirl of mixed emotions wondering how it ever began.Are you eaten up inside by a hurt that happened a long time ago? Do you walk around with an incision on your heart where Satan has planted some pretty ugly eggs that have grown and festered? Speaking of Jesus Christ, the Bible says in Matthew 11:28, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” On the contrary, 1 Peter 5:8 warns, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” Do you serve a Saviour who loves you and wants you to have rest? Or do you serve the devil who is waiting for the opportunity to devour your soul? Are you willing to accept the fact that you are not perfect and you need the love of Jesus in your life? Or are you content to sit in your cesspool of self pity and sing, “Woe is me?” You don’t have to allow Satan to gain a foothold in your life. Look to the cross of Christ and there you will find the answer to all of your problems. Cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you. He gave his life on this earth so that you could have an abundant life in heaven. Don’t let Satan, that old camel spider, rob you of God’s richest blessing.
The Monday after Mother's Day, I went over to talk to my friend during break. He loves to cook, so I wanted to ask him what he made for his wife on Mother's Day. He was standing by one of his co-workers when I walked up (the same co-worker who talked about hunting in the graveyard in one of my previous posts).
My friend attempted to respond to my question of what he did for Mother's Day, but while he was talking, the other guy pretended to cast out a fishing line and reel it in. He kept doing this while my friend was talking. Finally, I said, "You went fishing yesterday?"
"All day," he responded rather proudly.
"Did your wife go with you?"
"No, she didn't want to."
"So, you went fishing all day on Mother's Day and your wife stayed at home?"
"I've gone fishing for the last four Sundays, so I didn't think she would mind, but when I was getting ready to go she got mad at me. Can you believe that?"
My friend and I both stood there with blank stares on our faces. Finally, I said, "Of course I can believe it. It was Mother's Day. You should have stayed home with her."
"It was too late by then. I already had the boat ready. She should have told me she didn't want to go before I loaded it up."
"You should have known she didn't want you to go."
"How am I supposed to know that? I can't read her mind." He carried on a little about not understanding women, then headed back toward his work area. My friend and I watched him walk away, both of us shaking our heads.
"How long has he been married?" I asked my friend.
"Over twenty years."
"And he doesn't get it by now?"
"I guess not."
"That's pathetic."
"I agree."
I happened up on this conversation at work yesterday:
Guy 1: I got me a new tree stand the other day.
Guy 2: Where'd you get it?
Guy 1: My buddy sold it to me for $25.00
Guy 2: Really, is it a nice one?
Guy 1: It's real nice, almost brand new. He found it in the cemetery.
Guy 2: The cemetery? Why would there be a tree stand in the cemetery?
Guy 1: The cemetery is on posted property that a lot of people like to hunt on.
Guy 2: You mean to tell me that somebody actually planned on hunting for deer in a cemetery?
Guy 1: Oh yeah. There's a lot of deer out there. Lots of people sneak out there to go hunting. Matter of fact, my buddy found it while he was out hunting hogs.
Guy 2: They hunt hogs in the cemetery too?
Guy 1: Yeah. He don't use a gun though. All he takes is a dog and a knife.
Guy 2: What? How does he do that?
Guy 1: He lets the dog track down the hog, and when he gets one pinned up, he stabs the hog with his knife.
Guy 2: That must be some knife.
Guy 1: No, he just uses his pocket knife.
Guy 2: Is he crazy?
Guy 1: No, just a big ole' redneck. And he carries a backpack around so he can bring the pieces home. The other day he asked me if I wanted some wild hog. When I said yes, he opened up the backpack and pulled out a ham.
Guy 2: That's disgusting! But let me get back to the tree stand. So you are telling me that your buddy was illegally hunting in a cemetery on posted property when he came up on a tree stand; he claimed the stand for himself, then sold it to you for $25?
Guy 1: That's right.
Guy 2: And you don't see anything wrong with that?
Guy 1: No, it was on posted property. The stand shouldn't have been there.
Guy 2: But he shouldn't have been there either!
Guy 1: So what.
Guy 2: So what? You just stole a tree stand from someone else!
Guy 1: Yeah... it sure is a nice one.
It was at this point that I was called away. I just thought it was a bizarre conversation and wanted to share it.
